Today is a beautiful day outside. Damp but not chilly. A bit humid. Lots of clouds with the sun occasionally peeking through. It has nothing to do with the picture I posted below. So what am I doing just wallowing in bed instead of using this day off from work to work on the homestead?
Besides the point that I caught a bug of some kind from work and have been feeling poorly and becoming BFFs with the off-grid toilet system, I have been kind of frozen for the past few weeks. There was a flurry of leaving home and everything behind, of finding homes for the goats, geese, chickens, rabbits and cats, of leaving everything I had worked so hard for the past 6 years. There was the rush to find a job, the interview and starting that job. There was the picking up of my dad’s ashes, feeling alone and in too much of a survival mode to have time to properly grieve his death. My heart has simply been too tired to drag itself into the gardens. The first couple days because I wasn’t working yet and I didn’t know what to do with myself, I wanted to appear useful to my new neighbors, the ones I’m renting Tiny Trailer from, and full of fear and anxiety, I spent hours clearing weeds from their gardens and planting a few things in them. But since then, I’ve been simply far too tired. I’ve read that can happen after escaping years of abuse. But damn. I’ve never been so lazy in my life.
I can’t afford to be lazy.
No homesteader can. At least that’s what the American lifestyle says. Resting is for that 1 week of vacation you’ve earned each year while working for the corporations. That is if you work for a place that actually gives you time off. And even then you need to cram so much doing into that one week of vacation.
Now homesteading is no joke. It takes a lot of work and effort. And certain times of year there is a rush on things. Getting ready for winter, fixing fences, planting seeds, harvesting and preserving. Making repairs or upgrades.
Back on the farm which I just left (And where the picture of the elk was taken) I was fairly secure. I had a maturing fruit orchard that was just starting to produce as of last year, fruit trees and berries of all sorts, a garden with plenty of space to expand, established and self perpetuating animals- sources of protein I wouldn’t have to go hunt down, a good supply of winter wood, lots of shelters for the animals, lots of grazing for them as well, a huge pantry with jars of food I had meticulously canned… All that is gone for me now. Leaving me feeling vulnerable, unstable, and living on the edge.
This was the year, I had told myself to really get the garden in order, to make it extra productive, to can and preserve and to be ready for the crazy weather. Because it’s coming if it isn’t already here. Just turn on any news station and open any newspaper and you see the headlines of all over the world of climate disasters. And even if it’s been decent where you and I are, that doesn’t mean we won’t be affected. Our food supply system depends on reliable and predictable conditions. This year’s price gouging from the corporations are just a taste of what’s coming.
I have no place to store, to can, to prep in a tiny travel trailer. I have no established and productive trees and garden. I have a few chickens and a duck that I brought with me and they have decided not to lay eggs any more and I can’t free range them here because I am in the woods and there are dogs here who would also kill them.
So, I’ve got to start from scratch and I’ve just been too frozen, too tired, to start.
I’m hoping this blog will help get my focus back. Once I get over this stupid bug that is. So here I am, blogging, watching youtube, and resting instead of doing what I should be doing. This won’t last for long. It’s time to get working again.
Climate Wary Homesteader 