I mentioned in the previous post that I was “partially handicapped” and I know, technically you are either handicapped or not but in reality, for me, some days I am just fine. Some activities don’t cause me very much pain. I was born with a genetic defect called Osteogenisis imperfecta. Basically that means I have weak collogen and that effects a whole lot of structural parts of my body: bones, cartilage, eyes, teeth, etc. It means I have a lot of broken bones, sprains, tendon tears, and some other problems. It means that I can just randomly break bones for no reason at all. For instance, a few months ago I broke a rib just getting up out of bed.
As you can imagine, that means I am in pain, constantly. Or rather it’s a rare day I don’t feel pain. Normally there is a level of pain that I have learned to live with, it sits in the background of my life and I can somewhat ignore it. But often that level can get very noticeable. Especially since I don’t often take pain medications. I have people shocked that when I break a bone, or a knee, or something like that, that I don’t cry from the pain. Believe me, I hurt, but crying doesn’t help and I’ve always had to get help for myself and take care of myself and so I could never sit and cry about it. I had to crawl to the phone if it was too much to get myself to the ER, call for my own help despite having family members around. Those same family members would cry like it was the end of the world if they got a bruise or a scrap and demand I take care of them. But that is what happens when your parent is a narcist.
I have broken more bones then I’ve been able to keep track of.
Yet I am not “disabled enough” to get any kind of disability. So I have to work. Some days I limp back home, down some Tylenol and try not to cry from the levels of pain I am in from working. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a desk job. Using my hands too much is just as painful as working on my feet for those who ask “why don’t you get a sit down job?” They can’t fathom the idea of it.
And that’s why I generally don’t work full time. Part time work is trying enough. My body just simply can’t handle it. So I will always be low income. It’s just the way of things. And around here, in this very rural area, work is hard enough to come by, that I can do. It’s why I liked growing plants and eggs for selling. It was something I could do without over-exerting my pain thresholds. I could take a break when I needed to. I could go at my own pace. I would like to be able to do that again, but I’m not set up here for chickens and this isn’t my land to just decide to do what I want. I am renting space here. But there are unused greenhouses. They need a bit of repair to make them something I can use in winter, but I think I can rig something up. I’m told I can use any/ all of them. Since I lack space inside, I will have to start seeds, especially warm season things, differently then I have been doing. If I can find a way to heat the greenhouses affordably that will help a lot but for the time being I may have to start out with things that can start in cool weather. We shall see. I will try to make it work to help supplement my income. Probably not this season/year. Not while I’m still trying to get used to this new situation. For now, starting a garden that can help feed me is enough.
Climate Wary Homesteader 